Something that has dawned on me recently, with my skin struggle, is how much I care about aesthetics of the outside world.
A big part of my acne experience that I have to keep reminding myself of is that my acne doesn’t define me as a person. It also makes me realize how beauty-driven today’s culture is. It’s quite sad really that that is something so high on the totem pole of how a person experiences the world and in return, finds him or herself in it.
I like to think that everything happens for a reason in this life and that this experience happened to me to break me down a little, to deflate my own ego and come back down to reality. It’s so easy to get swept up in ones own self image when sometimes you just have to say, “F*&# it,” and live your life without fear of judgment because life is too short to get caught up in the superficial aspects of this plastic beach we all live on.
P.S. And if you were wondering… yes, that was a Gorillas reference.
It’s been about two months since my last post and to give an update about the acne situation… I still have it pretty bad. I’m trying so hard to be positive about it and I have to keep reminding myself that things could be WAY worse. Because the antibiotics I was put on have not cleared my current situation, my dermatologist has given me the option to go on Accutane. I have decided to go with this option because I cannot stand dealing with my skin anymore. It has become such an annoyance in my life and I feel it is something that I need to take control of.
After doing my homework about the drug and watching YouTube video after YouTube video about people who have been on it, I was reassured that I am making the right decision to do this. I was scared when this option was presented to me at first because I had heard of so many horror stories about the drug. I had expressed my fears to my dermatologist and she cleared all the rumors and horror stories right up with proper information about the medicine.
The struggle is real, but this too shall pass.
NP: Beck’s Morning Phase album (Which is AHmazing)
For the past several months I have been dealing with a sudden outbreak of cystic acne. Cystic acne is brought on internally by hormones. I was extremely stressed out last semester, which I think is what caused my hormones to go berserk. I don’t think I have ever dealt with something so frustrating in my entire life thus far. The past two weeks have been hell. During this period of time my skin was really bad.
I’ve been battling with acne since my middle school days, but I’d never seen my skin like this. It completely shredded my self-esteem and self-confidence. I really didn’t feel like myself. I was depressed; I wouldn’t go out of the house because I didn’t know how to deal with it and I was embarrassed by it.
If your one of the many who have, or are, dealing with acne of any sort my advice to you is to go see a dermatologist ASAP. I tried every other alternative before doing so, everything from juicing to other home remedies that I heard about on the Internet and by friends. Using Proactive did not help the slightest bit either. If anything, it made my condition worse. As soon as I was able to go and see a dermatologist I have been noticing improvements in my skin over the course of two weeks. The regime that I was put on is as follows:
Washing my face twice a day with an antibacterial soap. The one recommended by my dermatologist is a brand of soap called Cetaphil, which I got from Publix.
I was put on 100mg of minocycline (pill), which I was told to take twice a day.
I was given samples of Aczone (topical), which I was told to use twice a day.
I was also given another topical treatment called Clindamycin, which I was told to use twice a day as well.
One other thing they told me to do was to go back on the birth control pill, which I did.
So far, my skin is getting clearer and clearer each and every day. The cysts that were under the skin have all gone down, and the inflammation, redness, and soreness has subsided. Overall I am so grateful for the above regime and I just wanted to share my story and advice with those of you who are experiencing the same, frustrating life experience.
I’m listening to my eclectic collection of electronic music and I’m painfully and nostalgically coming
to the realization that I will probably never ever get to go to another UMF ever again considering the rising cost of tickets which always sell out and, or the website crashes during the earliest time you can buy them. Tickets are currently going at $400 a pop for a 3-day pass. 2011 may have been the greatest year of my life and this saddens me.